a story about a girl and boy who fall in love with each other at first sight and then the boy reveals he’s an incubus come to steal her soul and then she reveals she’s a succubus trying to steal his and they laugh and go get drinks together
That’s actually the cutest fucking thing I’ve seen today.
When your teacher is nice but can’t fucking teach
When your teacher is mean but teaches really good
When you’re teacher is nice and teaches really well, but the class is full of fucking twats
When the students are well behaved but the Teacher is still a fucking bitch
when your teacher keeps getting replaced because it’s defence against the dark arts
When you’re singing alone on a golf course
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
SO I WAS AT STARBUCKS RIGHT AND I SAW THIS OLD MAN SITTING ALONE AND DRINKING HIS LITTLE CUP OF COFFEE ALL CUTELYI WAS LIKE AWW SO I WROTE THIS AND GAVE IT TO HIM
HE WAS SO HAPPY I WANTED TO CRY OHM YGOD
OHMGDFKSJAH HE JUST FCKGNS BOUGHT ME CHOCOLATE MILK AND PUT A PENNY AOF ON IT I CNSDKFA FUCK IM OGING TO CRY IN STARBUCKS HE BOUGHT ME CHOCOLATE MILK